Well, I have decided to start a blog documenting my family and I’s journey with our little boy. He is 2 and a half and is currently being assesssed by a variety of professionals. He has a severe learning and speech delay. He is non-verbal. I know in my heart he is either autistic or somewhere on the autistic spectrum.
This weekend has been a killer. It was mother’s day yesterday and F has been particularly difficult, displaying some very autistic behaviours, eye-contact was particularly poor.
I am 31 weeks pregnant and terrified I am carrying another autistic child. Massive guilt about that last sentence by the way. I love F. Sooooo much. But I want to have a ‘normal’ baby, soooooo much too. I planted a magnolia tree in the garden for the new baby and said a prayer. I felt like a fraud.
I have an appointment with the pedeatrician tomorrrow. I hope she has some confort for us but I am not hopeful. Life is VERY scary. The future is VERY uncertain. I am worried, anxious and genuinely afraid.
That is all for now.